THE MOST ANNOYING SONGS EVER!

“Hey Baby” No Doubt
Never have the goings-on between a rock band and its groupies been so boring, largely because Gwen is less interested in hoochies than her tea (it’s chamomile, if you were wondering).
Low point: “Hey baby, hey baby, hey!” (Repeat 6,000 times.)

“The Girl Is Mine” Michael Jackson, Paul McCartney
Spoken word bits are tricky, as Jacko’s duet with Mister Beatle proves. Let’s just say that when MJ comes across as the masculine one, something’s gone very, very wrong.
Low point: “Paul, I think I told you, I’m a lover not a fighter.”

“I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” The Proclaimers
Scotland has given us many fine things (like golf, scotch, and Groundskeeper Willie), but that doesn’t excuse these twins for combining impenetrable dialect with nasal whine. Worse than haggis.
Low point: “DA DA DA DA DA!/DA DA DA DA DA!/Lika lika lika lika la, la, la.”

“Who Let the Dogs Out” Baha Men
The most famous group from the Bahamas gave us a song where the chant of “woof woof woof woof” is the least irritating part. Meanwhile, Jamaica produced Bob Marley and Peter Tosh.
Low point: “Get back, Ruffy/Bye, Scruffy/Get back, you flea-infested mongrel.”

“Nookie” Limp Bizkit
Fred Durst, quadruple threat: He can’t sing, rap, write lyrics, or even get a gym membership so he wouldn’t be such a load. A fantastic opening riff goes tragically to waste.
Low point: “Stick it up your yeah!/Stick it up your yeah!/Stick it up your yeah!”

“Trapped in the Closet (Chapters 1–5)” R. Kelly
This epic shows the dark side of adultery. For if an accused pedophile does not uphold moral standards, who will?
Low point: “‘Oh, my goodness!/I’m about to climax’/ And I said, ‘Cool/ Climax/Just let go of my leg!’”

“With Arms Wide Open” Creed
Did you know when a man puts his penis in a woman’s vagina, they can make a baby? So does everyone else, but Scott Stapp drones on as if he were the first man ever to knock somebody up.
Low point: “We stand in awe/We’ve created life.”

“Electric Boogie” Marcia Griffiths
I’ll let Ms. Griffiths speak for herself:
“It’s electric!/Boogie woogie woogie/ Diggita Mrs. Kelly with the bubbling electric belly/She’s moving along with the electric/ She sure got the boogie!”
She sure does.

“My Heart Will Go On” Celine Dion
The Titanic sinking cost some 1,500 people their lives. Celine hasn’t killed that many yet, but give her time. The second most tragic event to result from that fabled ocean liner continues to torment humanity years later, as Canada’s cruelest shows off a voice as loud as a sonic boom, though not nearly so pretty.
Low point: “Love was when I loved you/One true time I hold to.”

“Your Body Is a Wonderland” John Mayer
Rock’s biggest tool offers a mix of cheese (“You want love?/We’ll make it”) and outright stalking (“I know you’re mine/All mine/All mine”).
Low point: “One thing I’ve left to do/Discover me/ Discovering you.”